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Professor Rick Bold's
Provisional Personal Profile
Prof. Bold was born on the South Col of Mt. Everest when his mother was attempting to become the first member of the London Philharmonic to scale the peak and play a violin concerto on the summit.
As a youth, Prof. Bold stunned the mathematics cognoscenti with his definitive confirmation of Fermat’s 12.7th Conjecture proving conclusively that the root beer float represents the greatest artistic achievment of western culture. Studying chess and international diplomacy under Robert Fisher and Jeffrey Dahmer, the future economist rose to Grand Master status at the age of 11, and, in a Moscow exhibition match, simultaneously defeated two dozen expertly-restored Egyptian mummies.
While in the Soviet Union, Prof. Bold joined the Bolshoi Ballet and performed in the lead in the 1832 production of Swan Lake. Unfortunately, his ballet career was cut short by a football injury incurred while scoring the winning touchdown in 1989 Rose Bowl and National Championship game.
Prof. Bold's successful mediation of the disarmament and cessation of hostilities between rival factions of the radical fanatical Disco Army of Claude led to the creation of a commerative beverage named after him. It should be noted that no Nobel Peace prize winner has yet  received such an honor. Like its namesake, the beverage is cheap, available, and satisfying. A popular drink for responsible individuals of legal age combines the commerative beverage with rum, and is known as a Rum-Dumb.
The achievement of which he is most proud is winning the Wimmer County (South Carolina) County Fair combined hog hollerin’ and watermelon seed spitting championship. The winning watermelon seed has been framed and mounted in the state’s capital.
Prof. Bold holds chairs in physics at Sorebun University, France, economics at the University of May Lorder D’Kree, and pornographic studies at the Library of Congress. His current research in the field of neutrino economics focuses on methods to bilk large financial institutions and gullible readers of personal profiles out of large amounts of cash. A famous gourmet cook, known for conceiving and perfecting the cruise-line favorite banana slug and mayo sandwich, Prof. Bold’s hobbies include yodeling, semi-pro pogo stick competition, and being involved in scandals with young starlets.
Prof. Bold is on the cutting edge of technology innovations as shown here:
Prof. Bold's vast work experience has taken him to many distant places and brought him in contact with extraordinary people.
Prof. Bold maintains his excellent physical condition with the aid of a balanced diet of heavy drugs, booze, and junk food combined with vigorous daily exercises with the TV remote control.
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